Not an Explanation (but kind of)

A valued word of advice (I do not recall from whom) bids me not to try to explain or defend myself. So, I hope instead that this translates as a story of my thought process.

For My Groom

I was addicted. And now I am free. I longed for the affirmation of a like or comment. I was wasting precious time. Time that my Savior had coveted for us. My Groom wants more time with me. Do I love Him enough to throw aside every entanglement? Do I love Him enough to crush my idols? My love is so small. But I can start here, with this entanglement, this idol.

I’m not sharing this as a prescription for Christ-followers to copy. We all have our own idols. Our own snares. And we need to come humbly before our Heavenly Father and ask Him how we can honor Him with our lives. In seeking His face and basking in His loveliness, I knew this area was a dark cloud in my life. I felt great peace and joy in His presence when I decided to lay this down barrier to closeness with Him.

Not Only That But… thoughts on anxiety, time, and creativity

I feel so much less anxiety when I am disconnected. It is a gift to simply be. Take in a moment without thought of the next, the past or what is on a screen. This time is a gift. I feel so much more free to concentrate my creativity on positive outlets that reignite my excitement for life. Writing. Prose. Poetry. Reading. Painting. Drawing. Meditating. My mind is more free to receive from my Heavenly Father. I was filling it with so much other stuff. There was hardly any room in there.

 This is a start, a movement towards a more wholehearted love. As we seek His face in humility, He is faithful to bring to mind any hindrance. And I trust He will. I look forward to it, too! He is so kind in bringing us near through teaching us to let go.

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